Feeling Stuck In Your Love Life?

I don't believe that feeling stuck is a sign that something is "wrong" with our love life. It's more that our soul is inviting us to step into change. In order to take that step, we plant seeds and tend to the ground we've planted them in.

There have been many times I've faced stuckness in my life (in love, career, family, and more!) and the tactic I've learned for getting unstuck, the one I'll share with you below, has been unparalleled in getting me unstuck. Almost like magic.

With the dormancy of winter beginning to lift, we'll naturally feel a little more energized, a little more open to what is fresh and new. Why not put that springtime energy towards refreshing our love life?

What is stuckness?

When we're dating, stuckness can show up as not finding the relationship we've been dreaming of. We might not find any matches on dating apps, we might get plenty of first dates but no seconds, or we might keep attracting certain kinds of people we're trying to avoid. We might also feel really resistant to dating, even as we want to be in a partnership.

When we're partnered, stuckness shows up as patterns that lead to disconnection: repetitive arguments, getting triggered in the same old ways, feeling unheard, unseen, or lonely.

Ultimately, stuckness is like being caught in a loop - things keep going the same way and we can't figure out why.

Why We Get Stuck

When we find ourselves caught in a stuckness loop, it's because our conditioning is coming online. Within our unconscious are all kinds of attitudes: "I'm not good enough," "I have to be independent and smart," "caretaker is the most important role I play," "I don't quite fit in." We all have dozens of these lines of programming running in the background all the time.

And as long as they are in the background, they will influence our love life and keep creating the same results over and over again.

How We Get Unstuck

Uncovering and integrating the unconscious programming that is keeping us looping is the first priority. It doesn't matter how motivated we are, how "SMART" our goals are, or that we are aware of what we want to create that's different.

If we jump right to taking action, that programming is going to subtly influence everything we do, and we won't even know it until we're back where we started.

Case Study

I worked with a client who was thinking of leaving his current relationship because his girlfriend was repeating patterns that he had experienced in his previous marriage. He had actually committed to this new relationship because this woman was different from his ex-wife.

But then, after two years together, the pattern re-emerged with his new partner.

Through working together, we discovered that it was actually his fear of expressing his emotions that created the pattern. When he started expressing them, the pattern completely disappeared.

Seriously. He thought he was going to have to end their relationship, and he ended up completely transforming his and her life, just by uncovering some programming that was running in the background.

Refresh Your Love Life

I have a free workbook designed exactly for this. It's called Triggered No More.

Get the Workbook

To use this to get unstuck, you're going to think about what has triggered you the most about your previous romantic partners or your current one. You'll use those qualities to uncover something about yourself that you didn't know already, and that will point you to what actions you can take to unlearn your programming.

Ok, but what if I already did your workbook, Rachel? What then?

Hop on a free Beyond Triggers call with me! I can help you go even deeper than the workbook, by asking you customized questions tailored to you. I love coaching and I would love to coach you!

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