questions to improve your relationship
Updated: Jul 19
One of the most overlooked and important aspects of long-term relationships is continually getting to know each other.
I call this "constellating." It's a process of mapping out our romantic partner's inner world and the ways it is shifting and evolving as life shifts and evolves. This practice deepens and strengthens your connection.
And the way we do this is by asking questions.
But you know, interesting ones.
Not "how was your day?" or "what do you want for dinner?"
Below you'll find questions for your partner that will lead you to fascinating conversations. Conversations where you both light up. Where you both feel something. Where you're left feeling grateful to be in each other's lives. Conversation that, over time, improves your relationship.
Try these, and don't hesitate to reach out with suggestions for more or feedback!
(PS - To be honest, it's not enough to just ask questions, you also have to be crazy good at listening, reflecting, and asking follow-ups: holding space. My free online course teaches exactly this. Check it out by clicking the button below!)
What seemed harmless to you as a kid that you now look back on in horror?
What is one of the lessons you learned from heartbreak?
How did you play as a child and how does that play influence you now?
What is an experience you've had with mortality?
What is a taboo you grew up with in your family?
If you had to have another career, what would it be?
What is a dream you've never said out loud?
Who in your life would you express gratitude for that you haven't expressed it to?
What would you tell your 20-year-old self?
What is on your unofficial resumé?
What is a conversation you need to have?
What's an encounter with a stranger you will never forget?
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